I remember once getting into a car accident in the midst of massive busyness and prep for a Mexico Missions Trip. It was minus 45 degrees, an the roads were solid Ice, and on 105th street, I tried to brake as the person in front of me tried to turn without signalling, and I slid, slow speed into their back end. It was not a big collision, but the temperature made the fibre glass brittle enough that both of our cars exploded with pieces in the air from our bumpers.

my first thought was...I just don't care, I don't have time to care, think about, or process what just happened. I did not think 'thanks for letting me live' or 'how am I going to sort this out'. It was just a very simple 'I don't care cause I don't have time to care'.

It is that memory that I think about when reflecting on this past YC weekend. There were some great challenges given to me, both by speakers, workshops, and actually the most profound thoughts occurred as God showed me something through my alter-ego, the one this blog is named after.

There are some things to process think about, and adjust my life to. But I don't know what yet, because I did not have time to process those things during the weekend. I was called by God to lead and facilitate a weekend that allowed for life change in the students. this does not negate my responsibility for life change when God spoke to me out there, but true change can take time, process, prayer, and it seemed like trying to do that in Edmonton would not allow me to order supper for trip home, call bus driver to let him know details of where we were really at in schedule, chase someone who repeatedly tried to separate from the group, take someone to the hospital with a third Asma attack, and find someone who thought my rule of main sessions and concerts together was more of a suggestion.

I loved the weekend, I love those youth and the sponsors who teamed up with me. I especially love the God who called us out there, and then worked on us once we made it there. i am just reflecting on the reality that the questions and thoughts that God gave me, or in some cases, maybe just speakers gave me, are still raw, unprocessed, and unresponded to. is that a bad thing? Do I have my priorities wrong? or is it just a reality of the timing, and I just need to have the discipline to come back to those thoughts and walk through them.

That time to process is coming, and this year will be in a large helping, thanks be to God. I love what God has called me to.

Continue reading as I process those thoughts on this site.

Mike