On an early Tuesday morning I sit here in the quietness that is my house before my boy wakes up, searching for thoughts that I would care to share and that you would care to read. I am glad that you chose to join me here, or maybe you did not choose, and are here by accident, but don't tell me if that is true. I hesitate to blog because as many Christian Leaders, I fear judgement upon being open about my thoughts, but here it goes...nothing special or revealing in this one, but forgive me...it is my first.

Why I ammuse myself? Funny you should ask. Seven years ago I found myself saying farewell to the college of music education (a college I had worked very hard to get into) all because I knew that God had a specific call on my life to lead students towards Christ, (and continually closer to Him, even after they think they have 'arrived'). Maybe it was the anti-Christian prof I had who kept hammering me about how I would need to teach about other faiths like Native Spirituality and Eastern beliefs in the school system but would not be allowed to even mention my belief in Christ, as the public school system was not the place for that. (there are other school systems available, but I struggle with gathering all the Christian students into one building where no 'normal people' are, and keeping those students there for the better part of their early life, spending more hours than any other location in a place where they probably won't get a chance to share their faith and be with the people Jesus would have been with if He walked with us today.) Oops, there is my first thought you might pass judgement on, or worse, pass onto my Board, but I did not say I disagree with Christian schools, I just said I struggle with it.

I left for Bible College knowing that I could not do all that God had called for in my life while navigating the delicate balance of existing in the public school system. So now I am at one of the most exciting opportunities of my career, a student coffee house and drop in program, and find myself gently navigating that same balance I avoided by driving 250 km away from the U of S for my post secondary education. I open the doors to my building and life to serve the community association without any hidden agendas, because I want to love as Christ would. I pour out my resources, my energy, myself to serve a community that asked for my help in giving students healthy options for their time, a place to call their own, and did not ask for my help on what they should believe in order to access the good afterlife.

I do all this knowing that these students need not only the grace Christ offers to prepare us to be with Him in death, but the glorious riches He makes available to prepare us to be with Him in life. It is a delicate balance, because if I were to have ulterior motives, I could ruin the relationship that has been built up over 5 years, the relationship that allowed for this opportunity in the first place. Oh, what a balance to spend my life navigating...maybe I should go for another drive.

Thanks for reading. I am open to your feedback, but not your grammatical advice.