Well, I am no David Blaine.

I am not able to sit in tank like him, or hold my breathe for that long. I doubt ABC will cover my story, and know that there will not be the hundreds of passerby's wondering how it will end or showing support.

Regardless, I spend a lot fo time 'focussing' or meditating' when i cna afford the time. It is hard to understand and maybe silly sounding to those outside of my spirit right now.

First, I must prepare my mind and spirit for a battle that no one has any clue is about to begin. A battle that I don't know the ending to the story in, nor my heart's true response to those endings.

Second, my Dr. reminds me I can't take Ibuprofen for days before surgery, that shall be a challenge, since I now live off it.

Third, another therapist says I must train myself to sleep on my back, for the sake of my neck, good luck.

Forth, they tell me the more relaxed I am going into the surg, the more successful it will be. That is totally contradictory to what must be done for me to be able to pull back for afew weeks.

For what it is worth, I made some very tough decisions to respond to a message from the Lord directly to me that came a long time ago. when He gave it, I didn't want it. He reminded me, as my surg date came up, and now I ahve responded. Reluctantly, the kind of "I will do this, bu please dont leave me hanging, or I might not hang around' kind of respnse. Probably not what God was looking for, but I finally listenned to His message to me from one dark late night at a bible camp.